“Dear Young Girl and PhD Scholars Panicking About Love and Career, You Got This” Lady Narrates How She Chose Her Career Over a Relationship

A PhD degree holder, Dr. Adeola (Addy) Olubamiji (@DrOlubamiji) in a bid to encourage single career ladies to pursue their dreams, have taken to Twitter to tell her story of how she let go of a relationship because of her studies.

She narrated that societal and peer pressure became the other of the day as many of her mates started getting married and having kids while others told her to quit her PhD pursuit because no man would want to marry a woman who is smarter than them. She noted that she didn’t heed to these advise but decided to stayed on course and she finally met a man of her dreams.

See her story below;

One of the hardest decision I have had to make is to turn down a LOVE that came at the WRONG TIME.

I met a guy back in Finland. We were both students by day and cleaners by night. But he was madly in love with me. You could tell him anything about me and he would still love me

Suddenly, I got a PhD admission and full funding in Canada! And it became clear that I was going to move to Canada and leave him behind. Guess what? He proposed! Chei! What was I supposed to do when I know he could kill himself if I said no. Well, I said yes.

But made it clear, I am going to Canada and going alone! If you want me, get yourself to Canada by school or any other method Smiling face with open mouth. I am not staying back to marry and have kids while we would both be cleaners and be madly poor and madly in love.

I left for Canada. With time difference and PhD student stress, the relationship became a burden. I am realistic, so I let this good man go! Told myself there will be other good men in the future. For now, let me face making myself a real, successful and good woman.

A few years into my PhD program, people starting telling me that no one will marry me with a PhD. And when I tried to date, the guy was told by his friends and family that I will be too smart for him. I cried many nights and I was legit afraid. I was full of regrets.

I risked turning that man down. My mates started having kids over 10 years ago. They were already becoming managers in banks in Nigeria and here I was living in a basement collecting next to nothing as stipend and working as a sales girl and getting kicked by PhD thesis Face with raised eyebrowLying face

After realizing worrying can’t help me, I decided to face my PhD, finish it, get a job and stay in my lane happily.

Na late I late, I no kill person! I decided to remove pressurizers from family and community out of my network and make Jesus and my career my friends.

2 years later, the best man for me came. I was in a happy place. A PhD holder, have a job, a car and saving to buy a house. I had built something for myself and was ready to start building with someone. This man is the greatest supporter I have ever known.

My accountant, my reset button, my calculator Smiling face with open mouth. God indeed have His ways.

No, he wasn’t flashy, he is fine, black and has plenty hair Smiling face with open mouth. My Nigerian American Prince, the chess player from Mushin Red heart. God used him to shut all the naysayers and community gossipers up.

We have now continued to build a life that amazes me. God moved the goal post and He is still moving it right now in my life. Delay doesn’t mean denial and some delays actually position you in a better place

May be I would have been able to do all these if I had married the man, may be not. But one thing for sure, I HAVE ZERO REGRETS

Dear young girl and PhD scholars panicking about love and career. You got this!

You will also be just fine. Get a life, get to a happy place and everything else will work fine. Focus on you and everything you can control

Sending you all my love as you go thought this Valentine week.

Lastly, any destiny-stopper that want to use marriage to stop your progress, May Holy Ghost fire consume them and their plots Smiling face with open mouth! You deserve to have kids when you can take care of them.

Any gossiping family members putting pressure on you, may God silence them!

Amen Smiling face with open mouth and cold sweatSmiling face with open mouth!

To those asking what if he was rich, this is my experience and I alone know the full story. No need calculating.

Some women want our lives, careers and more first. So, we can be contributors in the marriage and not dependents.

No need trying to fight my experience. Rest Smiling face with open mouth.

Would the guy have proposed when he did if I didn’t get the admission? I think he wouldn’t.

This post is about risks, sacrifices, decisions and getting my life together before prioritizing marriage

This isn’t the only way. I chose this way and happy I did. No regrets.

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